You’re Not Good For My Mental Health

Has anyone been here before? I’ve often been left so drained trying to force things that just don’t fit. One day we wake up and be like enough is just enough.

I’ve said before that no one is exempt from being cut off. I do mean no one. If you disturb my peace, you gotta go!

I truly value everyone I’m close to in my life and I tend to be oblivious to the things they do at times. It can some times take me years to walk away and that’s so much time wasted. I’m learning and I’m trying to do better.

I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m just tired. I haven’t been around anything that I know means me no good. I’ve prayed for this and I’m finally there. I’m never rude, that’s just not me but I do keep my distance.

I don’t think people understand that everything they say about you will eventually come back to you. People I’ve been close to for years, I’ve heard the comments they’ve made and my feet didn’t move fast enough. You’re not good for my mental health, you gotta go!

This coronavirus isn’t good for my mental health. It needs to go! I’ve been praying for those of us that suffer from anxiety and any other mental disorder. It’s a very hard time and I know it’s hard to say don’t worry. Just know this too shall pass!

All family isn’t family. Always remember that.

To the family member that said I’m just having kids. Let me let you know one thing first, IM MARRIED! I have BUSINESSES* that take care of my kids. I WORK my ass off! MY HUSBAND* works hard! We take care of our own and no one can say I’ve relied on them for anything but guess what YOU GOTTA GO BABY!

To the family member that frowns upon my success. YOU GOTTA GO!

To the family member that doesn’t know how to clap. You gotta go!

Parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, if you fit, YOU GOTTA GO! We tend to make up when we don’t know. Yes I’m private but if you ask I’ll let you know and even put you on.

Relationships are not suppose to hurt! Always remember that ladies. We tend to walk mentally before our feet actually move. If it is affecting you, it isn’t for you. It isn’t good for your mental health, it has to go!

To the cheater? Goodbye!

To the abuser? Good day!

To the liar? You gotta go you aren’t welcomed here!

We tend to put up with too much from these men. You aren’t good for my mental health, baby you gotta go!

Friendships! This is my favorite topic. I’ve had problems with friends all my life, to the point where I felt like I was just the problem. I’m way too loyal and everything hurts my feelings. I’ve had the same best friend all my life and I tend to look for her in others and forget that no too people are the same. Sounds like I’m not good for my mental health either. Lol! I tend to hold on to friendships I should have been let go of.

To the friend that told her other friends my business. Yes I know, I heard. You’re not good for my mental health, you gotta go!

To the friend that lied on me to make herself look good. You’re not good for my mental health. You gotta go!

To the friend that gathers with her friends that dislike me just to discuss me. You’re not good for my mental health you gotta go.

To the friend that tried to come between my husband and I. Haha! Yeah girl you, yes I know about it. You’re not good for my mental health you gotta go!

So if I’m acting strange and distant, just know I know what you’ve done. I’ve heard all the things you’ve said, and not you’re not good for me so guess what? Yup you guessed it. You gotta go!

Everyone can’t walk into every season of your life with you. That’s ok! Keep moving forward baby girl, what’s for you is for you. Who’s for you will be there and those that aren’t you will watch them disappear. But keep pushing don’t stop!

Sincerely,

Jani

Meal Prep Week 1

Fajita Week

Hey Guys!

Basically it’s a fajita week for me but I threw in one of my favorite meals as well.

Does anyone else just enjoy meal prepping like I do?

Sundays in the kitchen, cooking up my meals for the week, while listening to my favorite songs. Yes, I enjoyed myself lol!

I made three different fajita bowls and a stir fry bowl.

The three bowls are chicken, steak, and shrimp. There are four different peppers (red, yellow, orange, and geeen) and onions. There’s fajita seasoning on them (taco seasoning is just fine).

The last meal was asparagus with steak. This is my absolute favorite. I make this all of the times over rice with steak sauce. Season with only salt and pepper, place in over for 45 mins, pan fry and steam after.

I also made two different types of smoothies. There’s a strawberry and strawberry and spinach.

Strawberry smoothie: strawberries, ice, almond milk

Strawberry with spinach: strawberries, spinach, ice, and almond milk

Both made in nutri bullet. Quick and easy!

Strawberry left strawberry with spinach right

That’s about it. If you would like to try and want a step by step guide, let me know. Pictures of how I prep during the week will be posted below. Enjoy!

Sincerely,

Jani

Why does he always try to come back when he sees I’m happy?

Let’s say you just left a toxic situation, you’re glowing and growing. You’re taking yourself on dates, working out, eating better, dressing nice, going out, and having fun. You have that pretty smile back on your face and you feel better than ever.

And BOOM!

You get a “wassup bighead” msg! *Pause*

Uhh uhh! No sir, WHO SENT YOU?! Where did you come from baby boy. I bet your whole mood changed now huh?

But why did he come back?

Could be a few reasons like:

  • He doesn’t like losing. See he knows what he’s missing out on without. He knows he lost so he got do what he gotta do.
  • You have a new man? Whew! This will almost kill him.
  • He thought the grass was greener on the other side. SIKE, is greener wherever you water it playboy.
  • Maybe he’s just territorial. Could be some unresolved feelings
  • Or maybe he just don’t want to see you happy if it’s not with him

None of these reasons are good enough to fall back into that unhappy place though. Let whatchamacallher have him because ain’t nobody got time for that.

Tell me about a time where you took a man or woman back that you shouldn’t have. Let’s talk, let’s connect!

Sincerely,

Jani

All Things Fitness

Hey Lxiiieess!!

I’m embarking a new fitness journey that I am super excited about. I haven’t been into fitness since high school (6-7 years ago) and I am not where I want to be or even close to it. I found out I was pregnant with my first child 3 years ago and it has been down hill since. I recently had my second child in January and I’m just now ready to get my self back in shape and back healthy.

I want to lose 15 pounds and tone up. I plan on detoxing, working out, and changing my diet. Trying to eat healthier.

The detox tea that I drink is called Kai by Tava Lifestyle. I lost a total of 10 pounds in the two weeks I’ve used it thus far. I’m a firm believer in this tea. Ill be drinking it 5 days a week to assist in my fitness journey. I’ll insert pictures below so you can see my progress thus far. If you are interested in purchasing this tea, please leave your name and email in the comments and I’ll reach out to you or email me at contact@thelxemama.com.

Kai Tea
Contact me to purchase

With the virus going around I plan on doing home workouts. If you want me to post my routine, I will share them with you. As soon as things clear I’ll be back on the gym 3-5 days a week. I’m thinking about working with a trainer but I’m not sure just yet. I’ll keep you guys posted though.

I also plan on eating healthier. Starting March 30th, I’ll be meal prepping every Sunday so you can expect a new video on my upcoming YouTube channel (I’ll explain in another post) and a new blog post every Monday by 7pm now.

Guys let’s do this together. Let’s motivate each other. I will be giving out free meal prep guides and recipes every Sunday so make sure you subscribe so you will know when I post. If you are interested in the detox tea comment or shoot me an email at contact@thelxemama.com and subscribe to my new YouTube channel. First video on Monday.

Join me on this fitness journey. Let’s get fit together!

Sincerely,

Jani

Coronavirus

Hi guys!

We’re going through a major pandemic right now and I hope you all are staying safe.

The coronavirus is an infectious disease. It gives off flu like symptoms (cough & fever) and also difficulty breathing in more severe cases.

There is currently no medication or vaccines available to treat it but there are steps one can take to help reduce the spread of it.

Symptoms

  • Fever
  • Cough
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Sore throat

How to prevent

  • Wash hands
  • Social distancing
  • Stay away from people if you are sick
  • Stay home if you don’t have any reason to go out
  • Avoid touching your face, eyes, and mouth
  • Sneeze and cough in your elbow

I know that the country is in shambles right now because of this virus but we will get through it. For more information on the coronavirus and steps to take to prevent it, please visit the CDCs website.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-nCoV/index.html

Sincerely,

Jani

Fitness Journey

Hey guys!

I’m getting to your post soon I promise. I’ve been extremely busy. Praying you’re all staying safe during this time.

Quick post here!

I’m trying to lose 10 pounds within the next month. If you would like me to post about it please like this post. If you would like to join me comment join or email me.

Let’s get summer fine together!

Sincerely,

Jani

Protect Your Peace

Hey guys!

When I say protect your peace, I mean protect your peace, energy, mind, literally anything that can be succumbed by someone else. Misery loves company and if you welcome it, you will become it.

I’m empathetic! I immediately feel other people’s energies and before I started protecting everything around me it had a great impact on my life. I literally took other people’s problems and made them my own. People would come to me to vent and they felt refreshed after and I would be miserable. Yes, this how bad it was. I put a stop to it, QUICKLY!

For my own sanity, I don’t go around people that I know have a problem with me. I’m not a fool, I feel your energy, I know and half the time you’ve told someone else and it has gotten back to me. I can’t act like I like you and that’s draining so I stay away. If you every wondered why, now you know. Family and all, YOU GOTTA GO!

I don’t answer my phone before 11 am. Whatever you have to say can be texted and if it’s an emergency text me 911. I don’t care who you are, I’m not answering. Unless my kids are in your care, don’t try it! Those morning vent sessions messed up my entire day. Half the time I may not respond to a text either. We all have problems, that’s what therapist are for. You can’t load your problems on to someone else.

Speak your truth! I don’t care whose feelings it may hurt. This is my truth. Protecting your feelings isn’t protecting my peace and therefore I can’t do that.

Cut people off! Everybody can go! If you are troubling to my mental state you can go. I don’t care who you are. Family, friends, husbands, kids, you can get cut off (okay maybe not kids, or can they?).

Social media hiatus. Social media is draining, it’s also an illusions. To stop myself from getting sucked into that, I delete my apps for a few days and spend time with my family, the family I created.

Spend time with yourself. I spend so much time alone. Trying to find myself because we never stop growing. I have to continue introducing myself to the new me.

I realized that I was becoming like the people around me. Walking around upset and negative because I allowed their emotions to become me. I don’t like them too much so I couldn’t stand myself. That’s when I made this rules for myself.

In what ways do you protect your peace? Please comment and let me know.

Email me topic request.

Sincerely,

Jani

Toxic Friendships

Hey Lxies!

Growing up I didn’t see positive relationships, friendships, marriages, etc. it wasn’t around me daily. I didn’t know what to go by. I did see people gossiping about the people they claim to love, talking to their men behind their backs, etc. Toxic? Very!

I knew this isn’t how I wanted to be but we all fall victim of our surroundings every once in a while. I can admit that I’ve had my share my gossip, BUT only the “dang why she did this” type thing. See I never knew how to share my emotions. If I discussed it, it hurt me. I hated confrontation so I would go talk about it with someone else to validate my feelings. These were my high school and early college days.

After self evaluation, I realized this was beyond toxic behavior. If I have a problem with you now, you best believe IM GONE LET YOU KNOW! Nobody has to tell you, you don’t have to wander, IM GONE COME TO YOU PERSONALLY! This helped me kill my own toxic traits and helped my friends see their toxic traits. Let’s be real, if we’re friends I want you to be better. Whether our friendship has to come to an end or not. I want you to see what you did hurt me. Don’t make this mistake with anyone else and please tell me if I hurt you.

Enough about me let’s dig deeper into toxic friendship traits:

  • Talking about you behind your back
  • Talking about their other friends that you aren’t cool with to you. Telling you their problems.
  • Jealous of your success
  • Always a different person when you see them
  • Always putting down in others
  • Hangs with people that don’t like you*

Talking behind your back

Baby girl! Yes she’s toxic. That’s a no brainer.

Coming to you about their other friends that you aren’t cool with

Because if you telling me their problems I’m sure they know mine and I just can’t mess with you like that. I’m not discussing Mikeyia’s (bestfriend) business to anyone and damn sure not to someone that don’t like her.

Jealous of your success

Feel like you can’t share something with your friend? Or when you do they are dry or don’t say anything at all? Or maybe they try to one up you. RUN! That’s not your friend

Always a different person when you see them

Now I do believe in growth and I know everyday isn’t your day but I was friends with someone who was a different person every time I saw her and we saw each other quite frequently. There’s a difference between being a different person and being in a different mood.

Always putting down on others

I hate a Negative Nancy. I never look down on others unless I’m helping them up. This friend that feels as if she’s better than everyone and makes shady comments about how much she has, watch out for her. She’s toxic as hell!

Hangs with people that dislike you

Now this one is tricky. If they were friends before y’all fell out I see nothing wrong. BUT if they became friends after that’s shady. Idc what no one says, I have no interest in being friends with someone who dislikes my closest friends. For what?

There are definitely so many more toxic traits. I may do a part two. In the meantime, share your thoughts and experiences.

Sincerely,

Jani

Overcoming Trauma

You are not alone. Don’t let someone else write your story.

Trauma is an event or series of events that can cause physical and mental effects.

Do you have a parent that was narcissistic and mentally abusive?

Do you have a spouse that was mentally or physically abusive?

Have you been sexually abused?

You do not have to answer any of those questions but this post is for you. You are not alone! There are so many women that can relate and stand with you. Let’s overcome together.

That parent that told you that you weren’t enough, that wasn’t there for you. That parent that put everything above you. That parent that tried to control your emotions. That parent that told you that your feelings aren’t valid. That parent that made you feel like you weren’t enough. That parent that didn’t support you. That parent that doesn’t know anything about you, that parent is the problem.

That spouse that belittled you. That spouse that beat you. That spouse that made you feel like no one wanted you. That spouse that controlled where you went, who you talked to, and what you wore. That spouse that cursed you! That spouse is the problem!

The person that sexually abused you. The person that touched you when you said stop. That person who’s name you can’t murmur. That person that made you touch them. That person is the problem!

YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM!

You are enough! You are bigger than what you’ve been through.

I know everything they told you plays in your head. Their words became your inner thoughts. Now it’s time you speak to yourself. Whatever thought they embedded into you make it a lie.

I pray that you find peace. I know that overcoming trauma isn’t easy, but you got this. You can do it and if you need help, I will hold your hand. Don’t walk the journey alone!

Sincerely,

Jani

Crazy For Love, You Can’t Change That Man

You ever fell in love with the idea of a man? He has potential, well at least in your head but he puts you through so much? Or does he?

Sis I hate to be the one to tell you, you can’t change that man.

He’s cute huh? Lol you done planned your whole future with him BUT he ain’t shit(excuse my French).

Ladies why do we always try to come to the rescue? You can’t be his savior, God and his momma couldn’t do it so how dare you put yourself in that position. Like KMichelle said, “you can’t raise a man“.

Let’s talk about this. I respect the men that’s upfront from the beginning. The ones that don’t lead you on but tell you what it is from the beginning. Those are my favorites. No matter how much it hurts he’s honest from the start. He gone do him! You just dumb enough to stay.

I hate the ones that plays games. He leading you on but talking to everybody else in the book. “Everybody has a story” right? I’m sure you heard that before. See he saw you tonight but he talked to Ashley on his way to you. When you went to the bathroom he checked in with Keisha and when he left he called Kim while on his way to see Natalie.

I’m sure you know somebody like that.

See but Ashley a real female and she finally sees what he’s doing so she reaches out but you so naive and you wanna fight, yeah you my favorite (sarcasm) DUMB ASS!! You’re what I call crazy for love.

You’re the same female that’s making text free accounts to text and see if he’ll cheat. The same females that’ll burn all his clothes, bust three tires and not four because you know the insurance company will pay if it’s all four (whew Chile how do I know that). You’re jumping on top of cars, chasing with baseball bats and trying to run over with cars. Doing anything you can to ruin him because you’re hurt.

Girl bye! Leave! And fast! See I’ve been hurt. Numerous times! I’ve been crazy in love, most of the things mentioned I’ve done or at least anticipated.

I had one relationship that broke me. He did so much under the sun and I did even more to prove my worth. Because I’m wifey material right and he had to see it!

I’ve cooked, washed clothes, and housed a man that I wasn’t married to. Doing all these things and he didn’t mean me no good. See he found a duck and he plucked it. 😂 just milked the cow. The minute he found another woman he was gone but before he left mentally I wasn’t even there. I just. Didn’t have the courage to leave myself so I was glad when another woman took in that dog.

But I couldn’t blame nobody but myself. I wanted him, I wanted him more than anything so I had to show him that. DUMB ASS!! Lol I can laugh about it now. I was CRAZY FOR LOVE!

If this you, you are not alone. But let me tell you. You gotta come up outta that. Now my situation was nothing like Ashley’s but I did have my share of problems. I did try to prove my worth to a man because I felt like he was the one.

Let me be the one to tell you baby, YOU ARE THE PRIZE! You don’t have to do that and just how you don’t want to marry no crazy man, don’t no man want no crazy wife.

You are the trophy, he won when he chose you and when you carry yourself as such watch the difference. Can’t nothing keep a man that doesn’t want to be kept. Let his ass go! Stop following him in ya car, hiding behind bushes, stop fighting him, stop questioning. Find yourself. Find what makes you happy and watch who draws to you.

Have you ever been crazy for love? What did you do? Please comment.

Sincerely,

Jani